It seems like my dry spell is at an end, and I’m starting to have my hands full of transplants.

Which leads to another topic: The only thing that surgery residents love more than gossiping about each other is critiquing the attendings. I’m not really into that. (Or maybe refighting the dramatic cases; that might be the top pastime.)

I learned to do calculus and chemistry and anatomy and biochem by not questioning the teacher’s assumptions. I know that doesn’t sound scientific, but I used to ask “why?” or “how do we know that?” so much that I could never get to the main point of the lesson. So I stopped. I tried to jump into the subject: assume that all the axioms the teacher grants are correct, let’s see how it works.

Same thing with surgery attendings. I could go on and on about the trauma attendings, because I didn’t operate with them. But now that I’m operating with attendings on a semi-regular basis, I try not to analyze their personalities too much. They are far better surgeons than I am, and they’re trying to teach me something. Complaining about not fair this or not fair that is not going to help with the goal. If I concentrate on doing what they want me to be doing with my hands, eventually I’ll get beyond the words they’re using. I’m frustrated with myself when I don’t do it right; I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for someone who could absolutely do it right the first time himself to keep his hands off and let me try again. So I don’t care how harsh or edgy things get in the OR, as long as the attending is teaching.

Which further establishes my reputation among the rest of the residents as naive, because no matter which attending they’re discussing, my answer is, “I didn’t think he was so bad. We get along ok.”

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