This is a problem. I’m studying for the ABSITE, trying to make up for time lost in December, which means reading through the review book every couple of days.

And every single chapter brings up vivid flashbacks of all my worst patients. I’ve only been doing this for a year and a half, and I’ve got quite a collection: patients whose death I feel (irrationally) responsible for; patients whose death I blame myself for even though I couldn’t have done anything different; disfigured faces and limbs; lives ruined by traumatic injuries; abused children; families crying in the ICU. Patients dying of a PE in front of my eyes; burn victims; pancreatic transections; vasculopaths; spinal cord injuries.

I don’t know how Bongi lives with his collection. For mine, for now, stop studying for the ABSITE (one week to go); but when it gets bigger, that won’t be enough.

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