I’m thinking too much about being scared. A high level of suspicion for asking a senior before doing anything dramatic will no doubt be healthy. But surgeons can smell fear, and it just draws the pack down on you. Stammering does that, for sure.
I know God got me into medical school, and I know he blessed me with the grades that made it possible for me to get into surgery, and I know he arranged for the Match to put me in a surgery program, instead of scrambling into something else. So surely at this point he doesn’t intend for me to, I don’t know, seriously damage many patients in the first few days of July.
The Lord is my light and my salvation:
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life:
Of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes,
came upon me to eat up my flesh,
they stumbled and fell.
Though an host should encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war should rise against me,
in this will I be confident:
One thing have I desired of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the Lord,
and to inquire in his temple.
For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion;
in the secret of his tabernacle he shall hide me;
he shall set me up upon a rock.
And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me;
therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy;
I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.
Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice;
have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When thou saidst, Seek ye my face,
my heart said unto thee,
Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
Hide not thy face far from me;
put not thy servant away in anger;
thou hast been my help;
leave me not, neither forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
then the Lord will take me up.
Teach me thy way, O Lord,
and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies;
for false witnesses are risen against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
I had fainted, unless I had believed
to see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait on the Lord;
be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart.
Wait, I say, on the Lord.