This is a problem. I’m studying for the ABSITE, trying to make up for time lost in December, which means reading through the review book every couple of days.
And every single chapter brings up vivid flashbacks of all my worst patients. I’ve only been doing this for a year and a half, and I’ve got quite a collection: patients whose death I feel (irrationally) responsible for; patients whose death I blame myself for even though I couldn’t have done anything different; disfigured faces and limbs; lives ruined by traumatic injuries; abused children; families crying in the ICU. Patients dying of a PE in front of my eyes; burn victims; pancreatic transections; vasculopaths; spinal cord injuries.
I don’t know how Bongi lives with his collection. For mine, for now, stop studying for the ABSITE (one week to go); but when it gets bigger, that won’t be enough.
Cut On The Dotted Line 
January 25, 2009 at 4:34 am
sometimes one needs to be philosophical. i reason these terrible things are happening anyway. the only difference is i see it first hand instead of reading about it in the newspaper in the comfort of my home. who knows. maybe i can make it a bit better for some of them.
i hate reading the newspaper. i find it incredibly disturbing to my psyche.
January 25, 2009 at 9:29 am
Hi,
Nice blog, I’m happy to read you on this website from my house in France…!
February 10, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Bongi is right, Dr. Alice. You need to formulate some sort of personal philosophy to buffer and beat back the sorrow and hopelessness you see and experience at the hospital. Your patients need you more you probably realize and appreciate what you have done for them more than what you give yourself credit for. Good luck.