I didn’t want to ask for help because it would be a confession of weakness. But my patient was dying, really dying, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, and I didn’t know why, and I didn’t seem able to do anything to stop him. I figured it would be even worse if he died because I didn’t ask for help. So I did. I don’t know what’s worse, that I was weak enough to ask, or that the person I asked didn’t really know any more than I did, and didn’t do any more than what I was about to do anyway. The patient survived, mostly thanks to the nurses, and due to what they and I did before the help arrived. I guess it’s good, in a way. I’ve proven to myself that I can get through anything (with the right nurses). I need to stop using the comfort blanket of asking senior residents for help. If I could just not get so worried by my patients dying, or trying to, that I can’t seem to think straight. . . and why do they always do it at 3am, when I can’t think straight anyway?
I’ve mentioned the ghosts before – memories of other times when things went wrong. They’re starting to add up now, so whenever I have a really sick patient, there’s usually an analogous memory, where things didn’t turn out well. I don’t know whether it’s good, to have those to make me paranoid and anxious to check into every possible explanation or treatment option, or whether knowing the answer to those old puzzles sets me thinking down one track, unable to see what might be different about this time.
June 6, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Ummm… sorry, but if you’re not asking for help because it’s a security blanket… i definitely don’t want you to be my doctor.
June 7, 2009 at 12:54 pm
There’s a place for asking for help, but there’s also a time to realize that I know what I need to do, and I’m capable of acting on my own. I’m talking about asking for help only because it would make me feel better, not because asking would make a real difference to the care.
June 7, 2009 at 5:45 pm
You may know what you need to do… but you shouldn’t feel that asking for help is weakness, or only to make you feel better. A fresh (and more experienced) pair of eyes can really make a difference… and even if it doesn’t change the outcome, you’ll know that you used every resource available to help your patient. And I hope your seniors and staff are supportive of that! I never reprimand my residents for calling— just for NOT calling.
June 7, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Asking for help is NEVER a sign of weakness.
NOT asking for help can lead to disaster.
June 16, 2009 at 3:38 am
We always ask others if there is anything they think we should do. Even during a failing code. It is better to work as a team and learn from each other. This may be more difficult to realize in your academic environment.